somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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