Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
