U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
