Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
