Why are handjobs necessary in class?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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