That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
