...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
