She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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