hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize