his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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