So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize