Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
