I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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