I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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