I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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