What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
