I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
