Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
