just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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