the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
