I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Randomize
