i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
