I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
