This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
