AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
