What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
