i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
