Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
porn star boner night. come get it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
