Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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