Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
