so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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