is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
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I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
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I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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