Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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