either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
