How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You can't motorboat a personality
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize