okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I think I sprained my soul last night
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
