I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
