I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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