Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
