I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize