i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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