Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
