Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
