Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
