no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
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I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
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I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
i believe in u and ur pee
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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