addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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