Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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