Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
