This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
