dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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