I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
try to milk me bitch
Randomize