i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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