No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
