I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Too much gin, very little bucket
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
