I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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