it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Farmville is her only friend.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
