Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.

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(971): View more from Oregon

So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"

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(925): View more from California

remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail

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(912): View more from Georgia

He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.

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(804): View more from Virginia

She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch

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(305): View more from Florida

We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well

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(914): View more from New York

Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.

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(410): View more from Maryland

AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX

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