Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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