I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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