u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
