Got a toothbrush?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize