what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
