Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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