is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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