i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Randomize
