I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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