I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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