You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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